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boys, Children, daddy, dads, Family, Father, Father's Day, God, Home, Marriage, men, Mother, Parenting, parenting relationships, Relationships, United States
So I’m writing this post out of concern and what I hope people will begin to rethink what they are saying, as well as clarification based on a very popular statement that I hear in and around my virtual community and at large. This statement is normally more prevalent during this month and the previous month than any others.
This statement is usually phrased something like this: ” I want to thank my mother for being bother father and mother to me.” Really???? How could that be?
Now I know this post may take some flack, but I’m a big girl and I can handle it. 
I believe men and women have established roles. There are things divinely granted by God that each gender is given to add value to the family structure. With things being out of whack in the family structure, it has caused us (mainly women) to feel the need to “fill in places meant for men.
Yes, you may be a single mom and the opportunity for parenting with the father did not work as planned or it may not have been an option, but stay in your role and provide for your children what a mother can provide. So what does a mother provide? Glad you asked.
A mother provides nurture, care and support. Mothers are the ones who set the tones and creates the atmosphere for her family. She in many cases defends the spiritual, mental and physical wellness of her family. Because of God’s innately design of women, the spiritual, mental and physical aspects of her family are protected and blessed because of her.
So if the mother has her role and responsibilities what does the father do? Glad you ask that question as well.
Father’s approve, direct and secure. Now, yes some moms do this, but this role IS the responsibility of the man. Just because you do these things for your family does not make you as a woman the father. It makes you a woman operating as a parent. If the man is in the child’s life allow HIM as the man to provide these things for the child and most men that are right about it will provide this for you as his friend. ALLOW him to function in his role and get out the way.
If a parent, be it mother or father is missing from that child’s life, it’s my belief that your circle of influence should provide for this child. We’ve all heard the saying it takes a village to raise a child, but this only happens when parents reach out to the village. Now you can’t just reach out to the village and dump the kid nor do you leave your kid with just anyone. The village needs your support and reinforcement.
After attending the panel discussion of Jack Daniels new book “I Need a Wife”, I know without a shadow of doubt that real men are needed to assume their role. In our families, communities, schools and churches, we can not afford to stand by and allow continued corruption and disruption overtake and destroy the families. When our men play their role, it is easy for women to assume their positions and allow men to lead the family to fruitful and fulfilled lives.
With that said, will the REAL MEN stand up and will REAL WOMEN play their role?
To Your Royal Life,
Zakiya!
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Kiya, I too have struggled with this post most of the day. Being a single mom of three, I do feel I fill both roles…not because I want to, but because I have to. I am the one in my home who provides, protects, administers discipline, nurtures, teaches, etc. The father is not there and it is not because I don’t want him to be there. Rightfully so, he has full reign to assist in the rearing of his children, but if he has chosen not to do so, I step up to the plate. Not all single mothers are mean and evil, even spiteful towards the ex. The relationship with him is over, but his relationship with his children should continue.
I understand the roles according to the Bible, but unfortunately, it is not cut and dry in every situation. There is that shade of gray. Because of the society we live in, we cannot always depend on the village to help us raise our children, for the dynamic of the village has also changed. You cannot trust people the way you used to be able to trust them around your children, even in the church.
So essentially, I am not wanting to be all to my children, I am being me. if that covers both roles then so be it. For years, I have confidently chosen to accept the accolades on Father’s Day as well as Mother’s Day. Why? At present, it is the only choice I have.